A Baby Story

I guess really no one really needs to know all the details of Caden's delivery and birth but I feel a need to record it. It is sort of a catharsis for me, a way to work through what to me was my own little miracle. So here it goes.

Wednesday morning we all got up to get ready to go to the hospital. I had been awake since 2:30am. I just couldn't sleep anymore. I was nervous and excited and exhausted too. We left the house about 5:20am in order to get to the hospital by 6:00am. When we arrived at the hospital we went up to the labor and delivery floor. As we walked to the nursing station I could hear a woman screaming. I was doing my very best to ignore it because hearing that noise scared the living daylights out of me.

We went into our room and I got in my gown and climbed up into bed. I had Chris get me my computer and decided to get started on my lesson plans for my kids for next week. The nurse came in a little later to get my iv started and eventually we got the pitocin going. The pitocin started at about 7:45am. Dr. Yium came in a little later and broke my water. They said it would probably be quite a few hours before I felt any contractions and probably be even longer before I needed an epidural. I don't remember exactly when I started to feel cramping but I remember thinking that it was too soon and that I must just me imagining it because it wasn't supposed to move along this quickly. It got to the point pretty quickly that I was uncomfortable enough to have difficulty finishing my lesson plans. I was having a lot of difficulty thinking them through. So I just finished the best I could and sent them off. Chris' parents and sister came up at some point in the morning and they were with us for awhile. I tried moving around to the rocking chair in the hopes that it would take some of the pressure off of my back. It didn't work.

I remember holding on to Chris' hand and the bed rail every time I had a contraction and wanting them to be over. It didn't work very well. They kept telling me to breathe and I am not good at remembering to breathe when I am not in pain and it is worse when I am in pain. I can't describe the way it felt. I finally asked for an epidural because I was hurting so badly. They checked me and I was at 5 cm so they said I could have one. This was about 11:30. I got my epidural not too long after that. I thought that the epidural was not too bad. It had this weird effect. I hurt so much and I had to stay still through it but the discomfort from that and the pain from the contractions and trying to concentrate to stay still somehow all of them counter acted upon each other and that was great for a few minutes.

Epidurals don't work right away. You have to breathe through a few contractions in order for it to start working. Caden's heart beat solowed down right after the epidural so they put an internal monitor on him and turned off the pitocin for about 15-30 minutes. The pain got better but I was still feeling some on the right hand side. They started to put the catheter in and I started hurting more and more on the right and by tail bone hurt a great deal. I told the nurse and they rechecked me and I was already at 9 1/2 centimeters. They said I progressed so fact that the epidural hadn't had time to work yet so they gave me another does of medication which helped but Caden had turned himself around the wrong way so now I was having back labor and there is nothing to relieve that pain.

Chris held my hand through each contraction and the nurse just slowly talked me through each one reminding me to breathe and relax. I can't tell you how much the sound of her voice helped me feel like I could keep going. Suddenly I felt like I really had to push and they checked and said I could start. So we started pushing.( I told thiem I wanted the baby out before school was over. He was.) Pushing is an indescribable thing. I can't explain it. I can tell you that it hurts and I was very very tired already. They told me to pull my legs back and push and relax my legs and feet and all of these things at the same time. It is really hard to figure out. I guess I was pretty good at it though cause I only pushed for 45 minutes. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life up until now I think. It hurt so bad. I could feel him move out and then I would feel him go back and I couldn't keep pushing cause I had to breathe. It just felt so impossible. It felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

All of a sudden everyone was getting really excited. They kept saying that he was almost here just a few more pushes...I think they told me this for the whole time but I had no choice but to keep doing it and all of a sudden I could feel him come the rest of the way out and I felt so much better and my baby was here. They put him on my gown on my chest and I just couldn't believe how pretty he was. He wasn't ugly like I thought he would be. He had the most cone shaped head I ever seen but his face was perfect and everything about him was perfect. I could not believe how all of a sudden I had this baby. (I know without a doubt that I could not have done it for anymore time than I did. 7 hours is enough.) I could not believe when they took him to start his assessment that he was only 6lbs 15oz. He was 19 inches long.

I cannot tell you how much I could not have done it without my husband being there. I needed him there and having my mom there made it even better. I love my husband even more thank I ever thought possible after I ggave birth and I think I finally understand how much my mom loves me. Well...I am getting a little over emotional right now so I will write more later.