Bananas

Scene: 9 years ago: A small room in a small house. A group of 6-8 people sit discussing and debating philosophy. It is lively and animated. There is a great deal of agreement but where there is disagreement, it is heated and fierce. End Scene.

Scene: Present Day: A small room in a small house. Two people sit, frazzled, hair in disarray, clothes covered with schmutz. They are incapable of completing a coherent sentence, much less creating a reasoned argument for why you cannot go to bed with your bananas. Philosophy, what's that? End Scene

How did we get from the first scene to the present day? Where did our ability to converse go? Why can we no longer form cogent, meaningful thoughts and arguments?

One word. Caden.

Somewhere along the way 2 of those people decided to get married. This was not a bad decision. In point of fact, it was an excellent decision. They loved each other. They fit well together. They believed similarly. Where one was weak the other strong. They complemented each other perfectly. They had jobs. They bought a house. They decided the next reasonable, rational step was to have a child. And that is where the logic failed.

There is nothing reasonable, logical, or rational about a baby. They scream. They cry. They demand constant attention. After only a few days, the parents IQ begins to drop. This is due in large part to the constant sleep deprivation that is inherent in being a parent. The worry never stops. Are we doing this right? Should we do this? Why does he do that? The sleep deprivation is not all that causes the IQ to drop. Suddenly, you find yourself staring and making all kinds of ridiculous faces and noises in an attempt to illicit some other response. That strange, happy sound that doesn't mean I am hungry, dirty, sleepy, or I want. It just means I'm happy. And you will do ANYTHING to keep this noise coming and not the other mournful, inconsolable, seemingly never-ending cry.

As time progresses the couple found themselves consistently enraptured by daily things that never before seemed possible. Although, if they really sat to think about it, this is a process that every human has gone through before, except those were not their human and they certainly were not as cute or as smart or as good at it as theirs. This assumes they have time to sit and think about it. As it is they are running around trying to prevent the little sub-human from injuring itself or swallowing something it shouldn't. Trying to stop a baby from eating inappropriate things is a full time job with little room for thought. Sometimes though before they go to bed they think...one day he will talk. One day he will tell us what he wants and how he feels. We can have a real conversation.

Unfortunately, now, he does tell them what he wants. He wants more. He wants grapes. He wants juice. He wants bananas. He wants, wants, wants. And he wants it NOW! There is no rational conversation about we don't have anymore grapes. We have to go to the store to get more grapes. He expects there to be grapes when he wants grapes.

Then there is the word NO! Do you want help with that? NO! Do you want to get up? NO! Do you want to go to bed? NO! Do you want grapes? NO! If he can say NO to the question he does even when he really doesn't mean no. And it all ends up with going to bed and having to take away the bananas because, NO, you cannot go to bed with your bananas!

So please tell me, why can't you go to bed with your bananas?